Hindi Sexy Funny Comedy
Jokes SMS Massages
REDLIGHT area me raid padi.
Police ne sabhi callgirls ko line me khada kiya.
Wahan se gujar rahi Budhiya ne ek girl se puchha: kya hua??
Callgirl ne kaha: Amma, Aam bat rahe hai!!
Budhiya bhi line me lag gai.
Jab Budhi ki bari ayi to Policeman ne kaha-Amma!Aap bhi??
Amma boli-
"bujurg hu to kya??
Chooos to sakti hoon!!..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Doctor Se Bolti Hai:
Dr Saab, Koi Aisi Dawayi Dijiye, Jisse Mere Pati Ka Lund Pathar Se
Jyada Sakht Ho Jaye
Dr Ne Ek Gehra Saans Liya Aur Kuch Soch Ke Bola:
Aapko Sirf Chudwana Hai, Ya Masala Bhi Piswana Hai.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady on phone: Hello! Police station? A man
has entered my house & he is raping me right nnoowww. Can yoouu aahh Mhaa
Woww ummm ohh yeahh hmm yess yeeaahh harder hmm yeahh arresst him tomorrohh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 men are in a doc's
office to get a vasectomy (nasbandhi). Nurse asks both men to strip. She begins
to masturbate 1st man.
Man1: Why are you
doing that?
Nurse: I have to
vacate all the sperm in your system to have a clean procedure.
Then she drops to her
knees & starts giving 2nd man oral sex and has sex with him.
Man1: Why is it that I
get masturbated & he gets a blow job and sex?
Nurse: That sir, is
the difference between Mediclaim and Cash payment
---------------------------------------
Kaviyatri ki suhag
raat ke baad uski saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi suhagraat?
Woh boli-
"Aaye the wo der
se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza
band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
boob tatolkar,
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi
palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di
surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka
maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine
ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa
hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat
ke liye
1 aur vote...
--------------------------------------------------------------
Morning wala
Khatarnaak Joke!
kamjor dil wale na
padhe..
.
.
.
.
.
My Friend :" Kal
meri girlfriend ka birthday hai,
uske haath mein kya
gift du ??
.
.
.
Sam:" Apna de
de..
.
.
My Friend :"
Mazaak mat kar, koi badi cheez
bata!
.
.
.
.
Sam:" Toh mera de
de
-----------------------------------------------------
Santa’s Girlfriend
Told Him To Bring The Protection,
Next Time They Go for
sex,
Santa Brought, 3
Brothers And 5 Cousins With Hockey Sticks!
--------------------------------------------------------
Mangta hun to deti
nahi ho,
Jawaab meri baat
ka..!!
.
Aur deti ho to khada
ho jata hai,
Rom-Rom jazbat ka..
.
Muuh me lena tumhe
pasand
nahi, Ek bhi qatra
sharab ka..
.
Phir Kyu bolti ho ke
dheere se
daalo, Balon mein
phool gulab ka ??
.
Woh Soti rahi mein
karta raha,
Intezaar uske jawab
ka..
.
Abhi uske haath me
rakha hi tha
ke usne pakad liya,
Guldasta Gulab ka..
.
Usne kaha pichhe se
nahi aage se
karo,
Deedar Mere
husn-e-shabbab
ka..
.
Usne kaha bada maza
aata hai
jab andar jata hai..
Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz
Tere pyar
ka..!! :
----------------------------------------------------
A Man Is Sitting Next
To A Woman Who̢۪s
Trying To Breast-Feed
Her Baby In A Bus.
The Baby Refuses To
Suckle the Breast &
The Mother Warns:
â€Å“If YouDon’t Suck, I
Shall Give It To The
Uncle Next To Meâ€.
The Baby Still
Refuses.
After About 20
Minutes, The Woman
Repeats The
‘Threat‘.
The Man Clears His
Throat& Says: â€Å“Look,
Madam, You Better Make
Up Your Mind . I Was Suppose To Get Off Six Bus-Stops Agoâ€Å“
------------------------------------------------------------
A Young High School
Girl Wearing Skirt Is Walking Past A Construction Site When One Of The Builders
Yells Out.
“Hey Gorgeous! Why
Don’t You Come Over Here And Sit On My Face”
Without Even Blinking
An Eye, She Yells Back
“Why Sweetheart, Is
Your Nose Bigger Than Your Cock!“
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonia asked Vajpayee:
"Tum hamesha tension mein kyun rehte ho?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
Vajpayee: "Main
sochta rehta hun, tum bina lund ke hindustan ki maa kaise chod rahi ho.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friendship Adult Version:
Friendship is not About
'I'm sorry'
Its About
'LUND SE'
Its not about
'Where are you?'
Its about
'KAHA GAND MARA RAHA HAI'
Its not about
'No'
Its about
'GHANTA'
Its not about
'TOO SMALL'
Its about
'JHAANT BARABAR'
Its not about
'TOO BIG'
Its about
'GAND PHAADU!'
Its not about
'DIFFICULTY'!
Its about
'GAND FAT GAI'
And
Its not about
'WE WILL ROCK!'
Its about
'MAA CHOD DENGE'
Spread to all your loving Lodu'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Banta ne 1-1
ghoda kharida.. Dono ne "SOCHA"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(abi joke khtam
nhi hua)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ghode mix na ho
jaye,
isliye nishani k
liye santa ne apne ghode ki punch kat di..
Unke mohalle k
bachhe bade shararti the..
Unhone Bnta k
ghode ki b punch kat di..
.
.
santa ne hors ka 1
kan kat diya,
kids ne 2nd hors
ka bhi kan katdiya..
.
.
santa ne 2nd kan
kat diya, kidsne bhi 2nd kan kat diya..
.
.
Santa ne apne
horse ki 1 tang kat di,
kids ne banta k
horse ki 1 tang kat di..
.
.
sante ne 1 ankh
fod di, bachcho ne banta k horse ki b 1
ankh fod di..
.
.
santa ne dusri
ankh fodi to kidsne b dusri ankh fod di..
.
.
Preshan ho k santa
ne apne ghode k sare daant ukhad
diye..
Mohalle k bachcho
ne banta k ghode k b sare daant
ukhad diye..
.
.
End me santa Banta
ne mil k DIMAAG LAGAYA…
(joke abi baaki
hai mere dost)
.
.
.
.
&
finally decide
kiya k
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
KAALA GHODA SANTA
KA
&
SAFED BANTA KA
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sadhu: apne se badi ko
maa, choti ko beti, barabar wali ko behen mano
Bhakt: baba aisa karo
ye LUND tum hi rakh lo, aapko jadi buti kutne ke kaam aayega.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aaj Uska Dil Phir
'DUKHA' Diya Humne,</3
Apne Pyar Ka Karz
'CHUKA' Diya Humne.:'(
Dekr Lalach Use
'ICE-CREAM' Ka,;
Andhere Me Apna
"LUND" chusa Diya Humne..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3Girls shadi k bad
mili
1 girl:Mere wo to
fnger bhi dalte hai
2 girl:Mere wo to pora
hath hi dal dete hai.
3 girl:Apni taangain
phela karboli,
Zara bahar ana. :p
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladki General Store Pe
Jaati Hai Aur Bolti Hai
Ladki: “Ek Sasti Si
Brazier Dena“
Dukandar: “Ye 100 Ki
Hai“
Ladki: “Or Sasti
Dikhao“
Dukandar: “Ye 60 Ki
Hai“
Ladki: “Or Sasti“
Dukandar: “Lo 40 Ki
Dekh Lo“
Ladki: “Arey Aur Sasti
Dikhao“
Dukandar: “Oye Chotu,
Madam Ko 2 Ice Cream Ke Khali Cup Aur Ek Dhaga De De“
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
REDLIGHT area me raid padi.
Police ne sabhi callgirls ko line me khada kiya.
Wahan se gujar rahi Budhiya ne ek girl se puchha: kya hua??
Callgirl ne kaha: Amma, Aam bat rahe hai!!
Budhiya bhi line me lag gai.
Jab Budhi ki bari ayi to Policeman ne kaha-Amma!Aap bhi??
Amma boli-
"bujurg hu to kya??
Chooos to sakti hoon!!..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Doctor Se Bolti Hai:
Dr Saab, Koi Aisi Dawayi Dijiye, Jisse Mere Pati Ka Lund Pathar Se
Jyada Sakht Ho Jaye
Dr Ne Ek Gehra Saans Liya Aur Kuch Soch Ke Bola:
Aapko Sirf Chudwana Hai, Ya Masala Bhi Piswana Hai.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady on phone: Hello! Police station? A man
has entered my house & he is raping me right nnoowww. Can yoouu aahh Mhaa
Woww ummm ohh yeahh hmm yess yeeaahh harder hmm yeahh arresst him tomorrohh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 men are in a doc's
office to get a vasectomy (nasbandhi). Nurse asks both men to strip. She begins
to masturbate 1st man.
Man1: Why are you
doing that?
Nurse: I have to
vacate all the sperm in your system to have a clean procedure.
Then she drops to her
knees & starts giving 2nd man oral sex and has sex with him.
Man1: Why is it that I
get masturbated & he gets a blow job and sex?
Nurse: That sir, is
the difference between Mediclaim and Cash payment
---------------------------------------
Kaviyatri ki suhag
raat ke baad uski saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi suhagraat?
Woh boli-
"Aaye the wo der
se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza
band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
boob tatolkar,
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi
palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di
surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka
maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine
ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa
hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat
ke liye
1 aur vote...
--------------------------------------------------------------
Morning wala
Khatarnaak Joke!
kamjor dil wale na
padhe..
.
.
.
.
.
My Friend :" Kal
meri girlfriend ka birthday hai,
uske haath mein kya
gift du ??
.
.
.
Sam:" Apna de
de..
.
.
My Friend :"
Mazaak mat kar, koi badi cheez
bata!
.
.
.
.
Sam:" Toh mera de
de
-----------------------------------------------------
Santa’s Girlfriend
Told Him To Bring The Protection,
Next Time They Go for
sex,
Santa Brought, 3
Brothers And 5 Cousins With Hockey Sticks!
--------------------------------------------------------
Mangta hun to deti
nahi ho,
Jawaab meri baat
ka..!!
.
Aur deti ho to khada
ho jata hai,
Rom-Rom jazbat ka..
.
Muuh me lena tumhe
pasand
nahi, Ek bhi qatra
sharab ka..
.
Phir Kyu bolti ho ke
dheere se
daalo, Balon mein
phool gulab ka ??
.
Woh Soti rahi mein
karta raha,
Intezaar uske jawab
ka..
.
Abhi uske haath me
rakha hi tha
ke usne pakad liya,
Guldasta Gulab ka..
.
Usne kaha pichhe se
nahi aage se
karo,
Deedar Mere
husn-e-shabbab
ka..
.
Usne kaha bada maza
aata hai
jab andar jata hai..
Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz
Tere pyar
ka..!! :
----------------------------------------------------
A Man Is Sitting Next
To A Woman Who̢۪s
Trying To Breast-Feed
Her Baby In A Bus.
The Baby Refuses To
Suckle the Breast &
The Mother Warns:
â€Å“If YouDon’t Suck, I
Shall Give It To The
Uncle Next To Meâ€.
The Baby Still
Refuses.
After About 20
Minutes, The Woman
Repeats The
‘Threat‘.
The Man Clears His
Throat& Says: â€Å“Look,
Madam, You Better Make
Up Your Mind . I Was Suppose To Get Off Six Bus-Stops Agoâ€Å“
------------------------------------------------------------
A Young High School
Girl Wearing Skirt Is Walking Past A Construction Site When One Of The Builders
Yells Out.
“Hey Gorgeous! Why
Don’t You Come Over Here And Sit On My Face”
Without Even Blinking
An Eye, She Yells Back
“Why Sweetheart, Is
Your Nose Bigger Than Your Cock!“
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonia asked Vajpayee:
"Tum hamesha tension mein kyun rehte ho?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
Vajpayee: "Main
sochta rehta hun, tum bina lund ke hindustan ki maa kaise chod rahi ho.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friendship Adult Version:
Friendship is not About
'I'm sorry'
Its About
'LUND SE'
Its not about
'Where are you?'
Its about
'KAHA GAND MARA RAHA HAI'
Its not about
'No'
Its about
'GHANTA'
Its not about
'TOO SMALL'
Its about
'JHAANT BARABAR'
Its not about
'TOO BIG'
Its about
'GAND PHAADU!'
Its not about
'DIFFICULTY'!
Its about
'GAND FAT GAI'
And
Its not about
'WE WILL ROCK!'
Its about
'MAA CHOD DENGE'
Spread to all your loving Lodu'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Banta ne 1-1
ghoda kharida.. Dono ne "SOCHA"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(abi joke khtam
nhi hua)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ghode mix na ho
jaye,
isliye nishani k
liye santa ne apne ghode ki punch kat di..
Unke mohalle k
bachhe bade shararti the..
Unhone Bnta k
ghode ki b punch kat di..
.
.
santa ne hors ka 1
kan kat diya,
kids ne 2nd hors
ka bhi kan katdiya..
.
.
santa ne 2nd kan
kat diya, kidsne bhi 2nd kan kat diya..
.
.
Santa ne apne
horse ki 1 tang kat di,
kids ne banta k
horse ki 1 tang kat di..
.
.
sante ne 1 ankh
fod di, bachcho ne banta k horse ki b 1
ankh fod di..
.
.
santa ne dusri
ankh fodi to kidsne b dusri ankh fod di..
.
.
Preshan ho k santa
ne apne ghode k sare daant ukhad
diye..
Mohalle k bachcho
ne banta k ghode k b sare daant
ukhad diye..
.
.
End me santa Banta
ne mil k DIMAAG LAGAYA…
(joke abi baaki
hai mere dost)
.
.
.
.
&
finally decide
kiya k
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
KAALA GHODA SANTA
KA
&
SAFED BANTA KA
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sadhu: apne se badi ko
maa, choti ko beti, barabar wali ko behen mano
Bhakt: baba aisa karo
ye LUND tum hi rakh lo, aapko jadi buti kutne ke kaam aayega.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aaj Uska Dil Phir
'DUKHA' Diya Humne,</3
Apne Pyar Ka Karz
'CHUKA' Diya Humne.:'(
Dekr Lalach Use
'ICE-CREAM' Ka,;
Andhere Me Apna
"LUND" chusa Diya Humne..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3Girls shadi k bad
mili
1 girl:Mere wo to
fnger bhi dalte hai
2 girl:Mere wo to pora
hath hi dal dete hai.
3 girl:Apni taangain
phela karboli,
Zara bahar ana. :p
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladki General Store Pe
Jaati Hai Aur Bolti Hai
Ladki: “Ek Sasti Si
Brazier Dena“
Dukandar: “Ye 100 Ki
Hai“
Ladki: “Or Sasti
Dikhao“
Dukandar: “Ye 60 Ki
Hai“
Ladki: “Or Sasti“
Dukandar: “Lo 40 Ki
Dekh Lo“
Ladki: “Arey Aur Sasti
Dikhao“
Dukandar: “Oye Chotu,
Madam Ko 2 Ice Cream Ke Khali Cup Aur Ek Dhaga De De“
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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